-Hmmm…interesting. So how does everyone know about my secret blog, i mean it’s secret for a reason. And why does everyone want to read my fucked up screen play? Doesn’t make sense to me dude. I mean, holy people like sammie and kate want to read it. Strange i know, trust me, it surprised me. The shit i write is really fucked up but the twist is that most of it is based on true events. Well, i guess i will continue writing screenplay and perhaps on a rare day we just might film it. Oh, and i’m calling it Kamakazi Cherry Bomb. What does it mean? well, i’ll break it down. Cherry – the thing broken when you stick it in a chick. Bomb – something that explodes. Kamakazi – a japanese word meaning wind or something. you just kill yourself i think. So the title of the shot is about making a cherry explode purposely or something. i dunno, it sounds cooler in my head.
So let me explain what this “Dinner” was about. The posse included me, will, ellie, christina, sammie, and kate. We arrived at 7 as christina had told us to. but son of a bitch she isn’t there and they had just started to leave highland falls sooo i just huffed some paint and went to play guitar hero with will at gamestop. pretty crazy. will kept farting. anyway, the girls arrive and i’m freaking out cause i’m in my car huffing paint cause guitar hero got boring. i threw that shit away and went to friday’s. so we sit down and we order shit and i’m playing with my crayons. and everyone kept talking to me and it really confused me. Some topics we talked about were 1.My Screenplays, obviously tim has been telling everyone how greatly fucked up they are. 2. How we all share hate for dorothy. Yes, it was music to me ears. I’ve been planning this since the day dorothy crossed. i told you that bitch was going to pay what she owe. I am turning everyone againest her. It’s awesome. even sammie hates her, sweet. Kate said she doesn’t care but she probably hates her too. So we’re all talking about how dorothy is a bitch and i’m just siting there laughing getting this paint off my hands which i though was sour cream at first. I ordered little hamburgers and potatoe skins. it didn’t taste as great as i thought it would in my head. regardless it was fun.
-sooo yea, great day, great day.
This is Episode 5.
The Gang Gets Aid with AIDS.
7:02 AM on a Thursday
[Scene opens with Tim and Jackie making out, the gang is
hanging out at the usual locker.]
Andy: What Up Bitches! Did you see the new Sunny in
Philadelphia episode last night? It’s probably a bad idea but I want to do coke
really bad. Not coke the soda but cocaine the drug. Do they have it at rite
aid?
Robb: ummm…you’re fucking dumb dude. Huffing that paint
really fucked your brain up. But that’s ok little Andy, we’ll take care of you.
Andy: What dude? That’s crazy. If anything huffing paint has
made me smarter. So smart…
Robb: whatever man, I still think you should stop huffing
glue.
(Will enters from the door)
Will: Yo guys did you get this letter yesterday? It’s
fucking nuts dude. It says that someone in our school has AIDS.
Andy: whoa whoa, does that mean someone in our school needs
me to aid them?
Robb: No dude, obviously it’s an acronym that stands for
Asshole Inserted Dyke Syndrome. Pretty serious. It’s when you’re in a lesbian
relationship and you’re the dyke but you still take it in the ass soo your also
gay. It’s a double paradox. You got to experience it to know what I mean dude.
Will: you are both fucking dumb. AIDS is a fucking disease
where you have a fucked up immune system.
Robb: whoa, Mr. Bio here. Shit. Does it say who has it?
Will: No, and that’s freaking me out.
Andy: what the fuck? Dude, I don’t want any aids shit on me.
FUCK! I need more glue.
[Credits Roll]
[Scene opens with the gang in P.E.]
Will: Okay guys, this is a very serious matter. Since I’m
the leader I propose we find out who the victim is and then tell everyone so
that everyone can be safe from him/her.
Robb: Whoa! Who made you leader? I’m the leader and I say we
find the victim and then scare him/her with a scary costume or some shit like
that.
Will: shaggy. First of all this is not Scooby fucking doo.
And 2nd I am the leader because anyone holding a fucking pole vault
pole all the time is not fit to lead.
Robb: I already told you that holding this pole makes me run
faster so fuck you.
Andy: (huffing glue) guys I can’t take this anymore. We got
to find out who this asshole with Aids is and kill him/her. Sure huffing paint
can kill you but c’mon, AIDS is a little too much.
Robb: ummm….killing it would be a little tooo extreme dude.
You got to stop huffing glue, it’s making you retarded man.
Andy: what?
Robb: Nothing.
Will: let’s figure this out like human beans. Who could it
be? It must be someone who isn’t in school a lot or skips school a lot. Hmmmm….
Robb: Probably someone who has mood swings and is very
dramatic cause I read on Aids week newsly that Symptoms of AIDS include daily
periods.
Andy: what dude? That’s crazy. That’s like every girl at O’Neil.
(Christina Joins the Conversation)
Christina: Heeeeey Guys!
Andy: hmmmm…why are you so happy all the time? Are you
holding?
Christina: What! Teeheee lol haha
Andy: ummmm…I can pay you in blowjobs?
Robb: Fuck Andy, calm down. This is why we never get any
chicks, shit!?!? Anyway, What up Christina? Do you know who the person with
AIDS is? Cause I sure as hell don’t know.
Christina: ooooo yea, don’t tell anyone I told you but its
Dorothy.
Will: That’s totally logical and makes perfect sense. I am
dumb.
Andy: Oh Shit! No way! Fuck!!?!? I need more glue. (Huffs
Paint) Shit!?! It isn’t working. I need something stronger!
Co-cok-cocaine…CRACK!! I need crack.
Kirby: I’ll suck yo dick for 10 bucks.
[Scene Opens with the gang at the lunch table eating food.]
(Andy’s eyes are bloodshot from all the cocaine and paint he
did. He’s freaking out hardcore.)
Robb: dude your fly is open.
Andy: what? Wh-why is it open? I didn’t even go to the
bathroom.
(Awkward silence. We all know who has AIDS)
Dorothy: (Dramatically) So Andy, I hear you’ve been telling
everyone I have AIDS. Just to let you know spreading false rumors is illegal
and I would kindly appreciate it if you would stop.
Andy: o_o
Will: dude, Andy is bugging out.
Robb: hmmmm no he’s good dude. Cocaine is a depressant.
Andy: Shit! I can’t take this. I’m going to the bathroom oh
gawd.
[In the bathroom]
Andy: shit shit shit shit shit shit!
Will: dude, Dorothy was giving you the stare man, something’s
going down.
Andy: what? No. wait, really? Well, maybe if she didn’t fuck
all those guys she wouldn’t have aids and shit. I mean, I understand having
sexual urges, that’s why god invented Masturbation. Masturbation is what
prevents us from raping people, its essential key in life. But simply having
sex with other people is a big mistake. That’s why god invented AIDS. It makes
perfect sense if you look at it from a clean perspective and correlate it
correctly. Let’s think outside the box and stop living in this fishbowl life.
Will let’s do something no one has ever done before. Lets cross the line, let’s
break boundaries, let’s hop the fence of decency. Let’s have homosexual
intercourse.
Will: Dude, that’s some strong crack you got there. Let me
see that. (Tastes some) What the fuck dude, this is just flour and sugar. God
damnit Andy stop being gay.
Alex Ryan: hahahaha
Will: Fuck you Alex no one fucking likes you stop following
us around.
[The gang is in public speaking class]
Robb: Andy aren’t you giving your speech today?
Andy: the fuck? I think soo…. Hmmmm let me think. Yes.
Robb: well dude, you ready?
Andy: oh yea totally, I’ll just read what I wrote here. I
got it all prepared and shit. HAHA! Let me huff some more glue.
Robb: that’s paint. Go for it!
(Andy Approaches podium and reads his speech)
Andy: Hello everyone. You like me good. Love you feel it.
Thanks. People think and it feels good. What are you thinking? Sex. The twelfth
amendment is nice eating the table. Please, you care you can make a difference make
a good feeling on the world. Making good it’s fun so good. Do it do it. Murder
she wrote wholesome at is. Corn fed up with this shit. Sun. if you want love
then for go it. Just go for it. Happiness with follow. Fuck you mr.gale. even
you can make it some good I will have has. Fun is nice to make so happen as you
do it with my way. I will leave you power good.
(everyone is confused and mr.gale gives andy a bad grade
anyway. Andy is suspended.)
[Scene opens with the gang in the parking lot]
Robb: Dorothy is dumb.
Will: well yea, AIDS and Dorothy kinda go together like ass
and shit.
(tim arrives)
Tim: yo guys, whats up!
Robb: nothing, I just can’t believe Dorothy has AIDS. She
was the one!
Tim: ummm….I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have AIDS guys.
Will: what? Of course she does. She’s always dramatic and
shit. Definitely a sign of AIDS.
Tim: actually, I’m the person who has AIDS. I hate to be the
bearer of bad news but I am the one with aids. It happened when my boyfriend
blasted my ass. It was big, I had to squeeze my butt cheeks really hard to get
it out afterwards. I mean, it was fun at the time but now I really regret doing
it. Other than having sex with men, this is probably the gayest thing I have
done. Sorry guys, but you are wrong, it wasn’t Dorothy. It was in fact me.
Robb: well………………………………….Fuck.
-End