I don’t really know whats going on with my life. I think I’m in a really weird place right now, and I don’t know how to describe it really. I wonder if everyone goes through this. I don’t particularly feel anything, ever. Everyday is just so monotonous, and I’m just killing time until I have to start the next day. I don’t look forward to anything, I don’t feel special, and I hate everyone around me because they are the most fake people on earth. I don’t give a shit about girls anymore and I hate myself because I don’t think I’m over her yet. I should be right? It’s been such a long time. To everyone else it just another break up but to me it’s literally like I have a bomb strapped to me and it does blow up sometimes. I can say though, that I have grown a lot. I’ve learned to take care of myself better and to find every opportunity to make myself a better person. Every time I don’t want to study, I look at a picture of her to remind myself to make her regret ever leaving me. Then I push myself harder and study more than ever. I really hate my life right now and I wish I knew what it was like to be happy again.
