This one won’t be as interesting or new as some of the other ones, but I believe it will be down to earth and will suffice in updating you with my life. I would prefer if you be the only one that reads it, but I can’t stop you from doing what you want to do. So read away. (edit: it actually took me a long time to compile, edit this together and I wrote different parts of it on different nights so I apologize in advance if the sentences seem discontinuous)
The first thing I want to mention is some minor things at work that really got me giddy. Remember that really hot PA Peder? A few days ago he fucked up his patient’s chart and whispered “fuck!” I immediately got a boner because that is the same thing I would say with the exact tone. He literally encompasses everything I hope to be someday, I feel like I’m working with the Justin Timberlake of medicine. Another point I want to get across about work is my progress with that girl I’m crushing on so hard. I just got my schedule for next month and the manager scheduled me every weekend because I told her I love working on weekends, but the secret is that I just like working on weekends because Chanel (my crush) works on the weekends. Now my boss thinks I’m the best employee ever and I get to work with Chanel all the time now, so I guess that’s awesome? haha. Fuuuuck, I like her so much! I’m dying. I can’t even look at her because she is so beautiful, she is the perfect combination of sexy and cute. In terms of essence, she is so down to earth and super nice. I haven’t gotten the chance to really get to know her yet because even when we work together I’m always busy with patients, but from what I can gather from the brief conversations that we’ve had, she is genuine and interesting, which seems like finding a needle in a haystack these days. When I make her laugh, her smile…ugh…bodied, I’m fucking dead, I can’t handle it. I had lunch with her in the break room the other day, we just talked about work stuff but I got her number, so I guess that’s progress! I’m on stage 2: the chase, root for me and keep your fingers crossed!
I have more patient (pt) stories. This really old lady with strep throat came in and I don’t know why pt’s REALLY like me but she was hitting on me the whole time and it was really weird. I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable or be mean so I kind of played along. I didn’t hit on her or anything, I was just like “ok…thanks, I get that a long, blah blah blah” and just smiled a lot. She was like “I’ll come back for a checkup when I’m not contagious ;)” holy shit…I’ve never met so many weird people. I have to record the pt’s height and weight when they enter the room and I feel like some of them lie about their weight because I’m like “bitch, you are not 130lbs.” Honestly, I could keep telling you stories about the weirdest things people come in for. It would be a never ending book and I’m sure you have better things to do anything. like watching House of Cards, right?? haha. I’m about to start gossip girl, just to see what all the fuss is about.
And of course there are motherfuckers I hate. There is this indian bitch Nimi she always tells me what I do wrong. Sometimes I don’t even do anything wrong but she tells me I did it wrong, or it’s something that doesn’t matter at all but she says I have to do it her way. Of course I have to pretend to like her because we’re all suppose to get along, but fuck her she is a nigger. She’s always teasing me to try and be “cool” but she is still a huge faggot and I don’t think she is cool at all. Also she’s ugly and looks like satan’s butthole. Another person I’m starting to hate is Susan. I think I told you about her. I thought we were really good friends and she was so nice to me and didn’t give me shit ever, until today when she betrayed me by ratted me out to the senior scribe. She told him I was sort of slow with my charts. Now, I’m still learning stuff and I’ve only been working there for a month. I’m not using that as an excuse but I thought we were friends. Damn, office politics is mad crazy. The senior scribe just mentioned it to me and said it was no big deal, I was just disappointed that she betrayed me, I just want to punch her in her god damn ovaries.
Something else worth mentioning is that I’ve been seeing a lot of dongs with my job. I am surprised at the number of people with STD’s, I’ve never seen so many dicks in my life and I can happily say that I am content with mine. Additionally, I’ve seen those diseases we use to make fun of (ie. pubic lice and genital warts….my god…)
Thats enough about my job, I want to revisit some of the topics we talked about on the phone the other day. You really wanted to know the reason why I didn’t want to be together anymore. I don’t really remember what I said because I was having trouble explaining it, morphing my idea into sentences. You REALLY wanted to know why people hated you (I feel like that’s the only reason you called), and you said that you wanted to know so that you can stop being nice/doing stuff for them. Why do people have to be useful to be your friend? If they hated you, why would you distance yourself instead of trying to to fix it? As cliche as it may sound, the best things in life are the things you work for. If something is difficult, don’t be like “oh it’s too hard, I give up, I’m going to play another game.” Keep at it and reap the rewards because in the end it’ll be worth the effort and the trouble. I’m sure you know what it’s like. I know that if you wanted an A in a class, you will do literally anything to obtain it and if you just sprinkle some of that mentality onto some of your relationships I’m sure it will go a long way. I could just be over thinking it, I probably am, but I don’t like the way you see people as objects whereas I see them as humans struggling through the same things I am. I am just fortunate enough to be born into a good family, and maybe that’s why I always do my best to be nice to people. Please don’t look at this as an attack on your person, but rather a clarification on how someone else views you. I don’t know how many people you can count on to tell you what they really think of you. I know Eunice will suck your dick and tell you everything you “want” to hear, but not what you “need” to hear. I’m just trying my best to keep it real without hurting you and I think that’s a really good quality for a friend to have. You should actually ask Eunice that question and see what she says. (this is just an addendum to this paragraph since it happened recently and I felt like it fit here.) That bitch Nimi I work with, I fucking hate her, but she REALLY needed me to switch shifts with her. She was basically ready to suck my dick for it. But you know what, even though I hate her guts and she was a bitch, I didn’t give her a hard time. I just gave it to her no questions asked because I figured she was in a tight spot and everyone could use a little help sometimes. I’m actually too nice you know, and I know I get taken advantaged of sometimes. This new MA (medical assistant: they draw blood and shit) messed up a blood draw because she missed the pt’s vein so another MA did it. I didn’t document it in my chart because I didn’t want her to get in trouble but that means I could get in trouble. I did that twice, but today you redeemed herself and got it so yea…god bless. I’m so sorry, I’m in a completely different mindset since I started this paragraph. I guess the take home message of this paragraph is to just be a little more genuine and go the extra mile to preserve your failing relationships. Most people are smarter than you think (if you think otherwise, that’s very dumb of you), give them that bennydoubt. Anyway, fuck this I don’t care what you do, you’re still pretty cool regardless.
Speaking of friends, I think I have a best friend now. Robb will always be my best friend forever but since he lives so far away my best friend right now is Ryan. I met him through Sara Lin at a party one time and we just really got along. We have the same weird sense of humor, play league, and we’re both scribes! We bonded one night when we shared stories about our breakups. Having a best friend is pretty cool. I realized the other day how my circle of friends have expanded tremendously, I feel like I own this city. I’ve met a lot of people from parties, through my job, and generally being more extrovert. I know the best bars, the best restaurants for any occasion, and even those small bagel shops that are cheap and secret OP. I was chilling at Ryan’s house the other day and realized that most of my friends are high class people, his house is literally the biggest/nicest house I have ever been to, makes eunice’s or erin’s house look like a dog house. He has a hot tub inside his swimming pool wtf. His dad is an ophthalmologist and his mom does nothing, that’s one of the reasons why I am leaning towards med school now. If I could get a bomb ass house like that and my wife doesn’t have to work at all, that would be so awesome.
Eunice’s Dog is not that cute, maltese’s are cuter.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hI4evww1WVM&feature=share
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOjL8AoGzIg
and she should have named it something cooler like Nasus or Updog (I hope you get that…). Bambi is such a bad name. You know Bambi’s mother died? Does Eunice want to die? Because that’s how she can die.
I’m starting to use snapchat more now, but I honestly don’t like it that much. I just like sending pictures of people eating dicks. I don’t know why I think it’s so funny haha.
Remember what you said about Jack’s Mannequin? If you forgot, you can read it here (
http://peachtaco.blogspot.com/2012/11/niggers-so-many.html) Well, the band disbanded a while ago but they are reforming and coming back as “Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness.” This made me more happy than it should, I dunno, just a little wishful thinking. This is their first single (
https://soundcloud.com/andrewmcmahon/andrew-mcmahon-cecilia-and-the-satellite), I overplayed it and don’t like it as much as I did before. So yea, I just wanted to share that.
I don’t want to write anymore, so this will be the last thing. It was birthday and I still consider you a close friend so I wanted to get you a gift. I think it’s literally the perfect gift from me to you. You don’t have to see me, I think you’ll love it?, and I dunno, I just feel like it fits. So here it is, it’s basically a job offer for an Assistant Manager position at CityMD. If you apply for the job through normal mean it would literally takes months before they contact you. They really like employee referrals and if you have one they will call you to set up an interview within 3 days. I was talking to one of the assistant managers at my site and they said that they were hiring since new sites are opening and they need more people to work there. I think it’s a really good job for you and if you choose to apply they will most likely hire you because they are looking for people with psychology or communication background and with your experience and bubbly personality, I am certain that they will love you. You start at 40-42k a year depending on bonuses and overtime, there are opportunities for promotion (I think the next step is Site Manager and they make 62k/yr), and you get tons of benefits. I’m saving my referral for you, because I feel like I can’t vouch for more than one person. Tons of motherfuckers have been asking me to hook them up and I told them I would work on it. Like canny, jess, my genetics lab partner john dong, etc. I’m not sure what you’re planning to do after this year and I know that if you apply to PhD programs you’ll get in, but on the off chance that you don’t (knock on wood), this is a good backup plan for a year or so, you can make some money and apply again. CityMD is honestly taking off and it’s been opening like 10 sites every year, it’s would be better to start sooner than later because the application/training process is becoming more rigorous/competitive every year. So yea, it’s somewhat of a safety net, or at least another option for you to consider. I’m so glad I thought of this, the best part is that you don’t have to see me ever throughout the whole process.
Anyway, that’s it for now. I hope it wasn’t too much and I hope that you had some type of positive emotion reading it. I hope you enjoyed your birthday and as always, I hope all is well. hope hope hope hope, i couldn’t think of another word for hope.
Your Friend,
Andy Guo
