fuck. 

everything is so fucking hard right now. I’ve been working so hard at school and at work. four 12 hour shifts in a row and an exam right after. I’m so tired of this shit. I’m so confused, i’m so lonely, I have no idea what the fuck i’m doing. I just want somebody to be here to tell me it’s ok. I don’t know whats going on anymore. I hate coming home to nothing. why couldn’t you just talk to me. I never even got a chance to say goodbye. 

No one knows how miserable I am. I pretend to be happy when I’m at work, and I don’t remember the last time I was happy. you don’t know what it’s like ….fuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck 

suzie i miss you. 

You have no idea how much I changed. I’m so different from the person I use to be. 

I still can’t believe it sometimes. I use to be someone you stood up for, you defended me, and took care of me. then one day you decided we shouldn’t see each other anymore. that was selfish. 

god damnit. fuck. just ..ugh…